"So what do you do?"

When you first meet someone - at the locker gym, or a co-passenger on a plane and have dispensed with all the opening pleasantries, why do some people consider it inappropriate to ask "So what do you do?" or "What profession or trade are you in?".

I always prefix my question with what sounds more like an apology,"If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?". I notice that some people are outright offended, some proceed to change the subject or throw me an irritated glance.

It's fair to assume the responder feels 'sized-up'. That somehow divulging details of their career will determine if they are important enough to talk to. Or that I am a 'serial networker' who will annoy them with a request for a business card, proceed to send a LinkenIn invitation and then ask for a professional favor.

It's so hard to convey that I don't ask 'What do you do?' for my professional advantage, but because I truly like talking to people ...to find out what their interests are, hear great stories and hopefully make a connection.

A few months back Tariq and I sat next to a man on our flight to Paris. A very nice gentleman who made recommendations on where to grab a baguette and have a picnic. I asked what he did. He was a journalist for the AFP. I told him I worked in Media/Public Relations. Great opportunity to befriend him and pitch him a client? But no, we talked about the industry among other things and had a swell time.

We ended up meeting for dinner when he visited NY. Both Tariq and I were so glad that he looked us up and we were able to enjoy a meal together. My point is simply this - every random meeting or conversation can be the start of something beautiful. Call me an idealist but I truly believe that.