Midnight Ink

Getting back to Midnight Ink

2010-05-12T14:29:00.008-04:00

I am finally back.

I won't say I missed blogging because I did keep it going at 20in200 for 5 months ...till I tired of it, but that's the topic of another post. But it sure does feel good to start here again, and to be blogging about anything that strikes my fancy and not

A quick update - We are currently living in London waiting for visas to be processed for our move to HongKong. T started working with a Canadian Bank as soon as we finished our trip on November 6th 2009. Our initial expectation was that everything would be ready for a possible move to HK by February 2010; so Isaac and I thought we would spend time with my parents in Kerala, India, while T shuttled between Toronto and London on work. But our separation stretched into late March by which time, both of us felt distraught from being away from each other.

So by April, Isaac and I were in London and it's now inching up to 2 months since we got here. Not willing to string up our traveling boots as yet, we have made the best of our time in London. We have gone up to Edinburgh, made day trips to Brighton and Canterbury and spent the most charming May 1st weekend in the Channel islands. Hey, life is only as exciting as you make it.

Isaac has his baby talk firmly behind him and has started talking like a lil' gentleman. He is constantly saying, "Pleeeeze","Oh, Sorry about that" and "Excush-me"! He has some dorky dance moves and sings off key (got my genes alright!). He is a bright child full of beans and we love hearing all he has to say.

He loves London, particularly the "rubber decker" buses and all the open green spaces in the city. We try and do something new everyday - museums, parks, the London Zoo, our local library or swimming in our building's pool.

'Midnight Ink' on vacation!

2009-03-30T17:56:00.001-04:00

I am temporarily retiring this blog site and will be blogging at http://www.20countriesin200days.blogspot.com/.

Dalí

2009-03-09T01:37:00.010-04:00

I never had such fun at a museum as I did at the permanent Dalí exhibit in St.Petersburg, Florida. It's a tiny museum with about 70 pieces, so you don't need to rush from one room to the next. The exhibit centered on the influence of Sigmund Freud and surrealism on Dalí's work. It was mesmerizing and bizarre, and played on my mind for days.

Here's some "did you know?" stuff that I found interesting -

* When Dali first met Gala, she was married to a surrealist poet and in a ménage à trois, not odd considering that the surrealist movement was anti-family. They met at a weekend party hosted by Dali, by the end of which, Gala had chosen to leave her husband and daughter to stay behind with Dali.
* There were nearly 300 instances of Gala in Dali's paintings, and he intertwined their names when he signed his paintings.
* Dalinean symbols such as the grasshopper, ants, water, elephants and keys appear repetitively through his work - symbolizing death, fear, sexual desire...
* Strangely, Dali was fixated with his brother's death although he was born 9 months after his brother died.

Two paintings that blew my mind - Gala contemplating the Mediterranean Sea which at 20m becomes the portrait of Abraham Lincoln. There is so much to be said about all the little symbols he has inserted into the painting, but you need only to squint your eyes and see the profile of Lincoln to acknowledge Dali's talent.

The second painting is the Hallucinogenic Toreador. The Wiki entry describes it best:"Examined from a distance, the body of the second Venus reveals the face and torso of the toreador (bullfighter). Her breasts as his nose, while her arms transform into his mouth. Their long skirts make up his white shirt and red scarf of the Toreador. The green layer makes up his necktie. His eye is found within the face of the second Venus. The soft white area unveils a tear slipping from his eye."

Florida Americana

2009-03-09T00:00:00.012-04:00

The past week in Tampa and Orlando was an immersion in Americana. Here is a sampling -

* Patriotism is hard to miss. We dined at a local diner, which had 9/11 murals on every square inch and table mats with quotes from George W. Bush. It was kitschy and made me squirm a bit.

* Driving in Tampa felt like a Hitchcock movie. Often for more miles on end, all we saw were strips of shopping malls with flickering fluorescent signages followed by RV and trailer parks.

* City-dwelling-gourmet-food-snobs that we are, we had little choice but to patronise not one, not two, but *five* all American fast-food/casual dining chains! We indulged in saturated fat gluttony at (drum roll please)...Denny's, Waffle House, Cracker Barrel, Chili's and Sweet Tomatoes. The food was always underwhelming and at times resembled a penitentiary meal. Never the less, you can't beat southern comfort food - grits, buttery biscuits and breaded steaks.

* We saw some breath-taking wildlife at Homosassa Springs State Park. Manatees lolling around in the warm spring waters, flamboyant flamingos resting on one leg and America's national bird - the bald headed eagle. Like the park ranger said, "This is the real Florida". Move over Miami!

* Florida has always been a winter haven for retirees, but I wasn't expecting to see so many polite 70 year old toll booth attendants along the highways. Clearly retirement in Florida isn't just about wealthy old men playing golf or angling in some river like I had come to imagine.

* And the quintessential Florida experience would not be complete without a trip to Disney World. For Tariq and I, it was a trip down memory lane, remembering our respective first visit to Disney World in the 80s. Little has changed in 20 years. I had flashes when I could recall what it felt like to be a squealing 8 year old again.

Bitter Sweet

2009-02-24T23:37:00.021-05:00

I have 3 more days left at the firm and I am filled with such conflicting emotions. Today, it dawned on me that it may be years before I head back to work again.

The primary reason to quit is because Tariq and I think the timing is perfect for some extended travel that we have always talked of doing. Also, being a working mom has been incredibly hard.

When I was pregnant with Isaac, I told myself that having a child would not (and should not) alter my career plans. The last 18 months was an emotional and physical tug of war. At times my mind was on a hamster wheel debating and justifying the dual roles.

I am still making peace with my decision - I am telling myself that my financial independence, the MBA and 8 yrs of work experience is a small trade-off for the larger role I will get to play in Isaac's life.

I am also hoping this year of adventure and travel will open my eyes to other possibilities.

PIC: Tariq shot this sunset picture in Northern Florida where he is cave diving this week.

Isaac hard at work

2009-02-12T22:49:00.005-05:00

I shot this home video a couple of weeks back on a lazy Sunday morning. Tariq and I were relaxing while Isaac was hard at work. I love how he tries not to miss any corners.

Isaac's first best friend

2009-02-12T22:31:00.004-05:00

Isaac is slowly building his own social life. He spends most afternoons with his first 'best friend' - Sacha who lives in our building.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-03T20:03:00.004-05:00

The other day I got tagged on FB and was asked to write 25 random things about myself. I found the process of thinking and typing this very therapeutic. Reposting my note here -

1. I lived 12 years in Lagos, Nigeria which I think back of as a dysfunctional childhood. Since armed robbery was commonplace, we lived in heavily guarded apartments, weren't allowed to ride bicycles on the streets or walk anywhere. I didn't have a single Nigerian friend. I studied at an all Indian school, my family moved in an all-Indian social circle and we were discouraged from interacting with our neighbors.

2. When I was 3 years old, I briefly attended pre-K at a Nigerian school where my hair and skin made me a novelty. My classmates pulled my 'straight' hair and pinched my 'brown' skin.

3. I trained in Bharatnatyam for 10 years, rebelled against it in the 10th grade and now regret not having followed through.

4. My love for travel started early. By the time I was 18, I had been to 13 countries and kept detailed journals about it.

5. In school, I wrote an essay about the Taj Mahal without ever having visited it. It won me a UN essay writing contest. Hah!

6. Ever since I was a little girl, I daydreamed endlessly about decor, design and textiles. After visiting a friend’s home, I would mentally rearrange the furniture. In college, I spent hours drawing blueprints of ideal homes.

7. Living on the west side of Manhattan, I have become mesmerized by architecture, particularly French Beaux-Arts buildings built in the late 1800s - early 1900s.

8. My fondest memories and closest friends are from the 5 undergraduate years studying and boarding at a Catholic college run by nuns. We were perpetually sneaking out for parties, breaking into the pantry, scheming our next escapade and getting caught despite the best laid plans!

9. I was a sprinter in school, played softball in college and have run 2 marathons.

10. My childhood love and the man who I idealized for many years, is behind bars for a crime I am not convinced he committed.

11. Growing old scares me. I am 31 and filled with dread that half my life is already over. Being diagnosed of some debilitating disease or becoming physically dependent on life support machines keeps me awake at night.

12. I am undecided about religion and spirituality. I was a devout Christian at one point but now am actively questioning the need for organized religion. I haven't declared myself an atheist or agnostic, but am experimenting with disbelief.

13. I love my adopted country and respect America's ideals of liberty, justice and freedom for all. It’s not perfect - I disagree with its foreign policies and global policing but believe this country is growing in the right direction - growing beyond ignorance, racism and sexism.

14. I am proud to be Indian but loathe the corruption, and general apathy towards infrastructure, poverty, sanitation and civic duty.

15. I am grateful for every romantic relationship I have had (really!). Each one taught me something about myself and crystallized what I both needed and wanted in a partner.

16. I feel lucky to live and work in Manhattan. It is a vibrant, liberal and culturally rich city that I am proud to call home.

17. A couple of times during a Yoga or meditation session, I have had transcendental experiences where I recall subconscious memories.

18. I met Tariq at a trade conference in Boston. I knew right away. Without knowing anything about him, I called my friend and proclaimed, “I have met the man I am going to marry." He is the most handsome, romantic and intelligent man I have ever met, and I am deeply in love.

19. I wasn't into children and lacked any maternal instinct till Isaac came along. I will be the first to admit that it is so much of work, but being a mother has shown me what unconditional love means.

20. I have never liked loud places - clubs, bars, lounges.

21. Materialism annoys me. At 25, I made a conscious decision to steer away from acquiring possessions.

22. I laugh loudly and don’t care what others think about it.

23. I have never bribed anyone (and the few times I tried, it just sounded awkward!)

24. I am very organized – I file, label and index everything.

25. Here’s a profound thought - I spent my 20s focused on building a career only to realize that professional success does not equate to personal happiness. My goal for my 30s is to stop, take stock, and to pursue whatever it is that truly inspires and motivates me.

Riding the Fairway elevator

2009-01-30T13:55:00.013-05:00

Fairway is more of an Upper West side institution than a grocery store. It's been part of our weekend ritual for over 3 years now. It sells the most affordable and genuinely fresh produce sourced from family farms - olives from Greece, cheese from Vermont, fresh orange juice from Florida, farm-raised lamb from New Zealand...you get the idea.

Who says grocery shopping can't be fun? Unlike Whole Foods and other very clinical supermarkets, Fairway is a madhouse. The signs are quirky and cheeky, the butchers are flirty and the check-out queues resemble concert ticket lines. This NYT story has a picture of the elevator that we ride since we have a stroller to push around. It can get as crammed as a Mumbai commuter train, and thank heavens, lasts only 16 seconds!

Goodbye Domino!

2009-01-29T12:46:00.006-05:00

Yesterday Lav shared this NYT story on Conde Nast shutting down Domino magazine. The recession is taking away whatever lil' indulgences that remain.

In 3 years Domino did what few decor magazines were able to accomplish - it democratized interior design. City dwellers (I presume) especially liked the features on smaller spaces. They kept the focus on offbeat designers while veering away from peddling overpriced Ralph Lauren sheets. The design blogosphere is mourning.

I am just glad that I kept every issue.

"So what do you do?"

2009-01-28T12:32:00.009-05:00

When you first meet someone - at the locker gym, or a co-passenger on a plane and have dispensed with all the opening pleasantries, why do some people consider it inappropriate to ask "So what do you do?" or "What profession or trade are you in?".

I always prefix my question with what sounds more like an apology,"If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?". I notice that some people are outright offended, some proceed to change the subject or throw me an irritated glance.

It's fair to assume the responder feels 'sized-up'. That somehow divulging details of their career will determine if they are important enough to talk to. Or that I am a 'serial networker' who will annoy them with a request for a business card, proceed to send a LinkenIn invitation and then ask for a professional favor.

It's so hard to convey that I don't ask 'What do you do?' for my professional advantage, but because I truly like talking to people ...to find out what their interests are, hear great stories and hopefully make a connection.

A few months back Tariq and I sat next to a man on our flight to Paris. A very nice gentleman who made recommendations on where to grab a baguette and have a picnic. I asked what he did. He was a journalist for the AFP. I told him I worked in Media/Public Relations. Great opportunity to befriend him and pitch him a client? But no, we talked about the industry among other things and had a swell time.

We ended up meeting for dinner when he visited NY. Both Tariq and I were so glad that he looked us up and we were able to enjoy a meal together. My point is simply this - every random meeting or conversation can be the start of something beautiful. Call me an idealist but I truly believe that.

Luxuries become Neccesities

2009-01-15T11:48:00.005-05:00

Tariq and I are toying with the idea of moving out of NYC. We are not sure where our next port of call will be, but temporarily we want to put up our feet at my parent's home in tranquil Cochin. A good idea to ride out the storm and relax, enjoy Isaac at this perfect age and live frugally without dipping deep into our savings.

As I mentally prepare for the move, I was making a checklist of all the things I will need to buy in the US to take with me to India. Let's see - my organic curly hair shampoo, my ginger-rush body cream, the branded diapers that Isaac has been using since he was born (perhaps enough to last me 6 more months - that works up to about 600 diapers!), my Apple i-touch, my Mac Book,and other such 'necessities' that I think I cannot live without. Odd, I thought, do I need all these things to make me comfortable?

Which brings me to something Tariq pointed out to me. About sixty years ago Gabriel Tarde (1843–1904), the great French sociologist, dealt with the problem of the popularization of luxuries. An industrial innovation, he pointed out, enters the market as the extravagance of an elite before it finally turns, step-by-step, into a need of each and all and is considered indispensable. What was once a luxury becomes in the course of time a necessity.

The Winter of Despair

2008-12-20T00:11:00.010-05:00

You know that recession has ceased to be an economic term and become a personal reality when....

*Your husband just got let go from his firm
*The rental office spaces in our office building have all but emptied out
*Storefront after storefront in my neighborhood - sometimes nearly 7 in a row have 'For Rent'signs
*A popular Indo-Western design store (that was overpriced anyways)sent me a 'Going out of Business - 90% discount' sale offer this evening
*The NYC subway system seems eerily empty
*Everyone, and I mean everyone I meet asks, "When will it get better?"

This fall and winter has been the fastest lesson in capitalism and business cycles I have ever had. I knew that we were into a recession back in February - but it seemed like a faraway statistic that wouldn't arrive at my doorstep.

How quickly things have changed. This morning, someone I know very aptly quoted from Charles Dickens - A tale of Two cities :

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us ..."

PS - The pic was taken by Tariq on his iphone as he walked through Central Park this afternoon

First Words

2008-12-12T00:38:00.002-05:00

Isaac is babbling and it melts my heart. The other day he pointed to the fruit basket, brought his lips to a perfect 'O' and said, "OO-P-L-E". He took such care to be as precise as possible with the syallables. And just as T and I thought it was just a random babble, he surprised us and said it again - this time quicker and with more certainity. I am beaming - my son said his first word !

Porn?

2008-03-04T10:32:00.010-05:00

I read somewhere that design magazines are like porn for Manhattan apartment dwellers. Sitting in our cramped 450 sq.feet apartments, we fantasize as we flip through pictures of spacious walk-in-closets and sun drenched patios.

Even as I complain frequently to my husband about how I am irritated with our ever shrinking apartment, I am aware of all the back-issues of my design magazines that could free up space for more 'practical' things.

My first ever design magazine was 'Inside-Outside'. Back in college when I could ill afford it, I just *HAD* to buy that 12 Rupee copy. I still have all the back issues from the 1990s stacked neatly in a cupboard in my parent's home.

Musical Diplomacy

2008-02-28T11:57:00.010-05:00

Reading all the articles about NY Philharmonic's performance in Pyongyang made my hopes soar - maybe North Korea was finally opening its doors.

Watching a short video clip on NY Times brought it down with a thud.

Collecting cell phones from the international contingent to restrict 'open' communication, watching a traffic officer directing cars like a wound up toy soldier and a NY Philharmonic musician saying she saw darkness outside her hotel window. It painted an even starker image in my mind.

After the red carpet has been rolled back and the banquet hall cleared, the world will fast forget how its citizens struggle for food and freedom alike.

Adoholik

2008-02-27T12:02:00.007-05:00

I got thinking of the Onida advertisement from the 80's and that brilliant tag line that has stayed with us - Neighbor's Envy, Owner's Pride.

I 'googled' it to check for the print ad and came across this advertising site Adoholik that compiles creatives that Indian agencies put out.

I really do miss watching/seeing Indian advertisements both in print and on TV.

Rain

2008-02-26T20:17:00.008-05:00

It has been one of those rain-drenched New York days. Everything looks gloomy in a cozy kind of way...

Walking out of a meeting and into the slick rained covered street reminded me of two childhood memories.

Returning from school one day, I got caught in the rain and my notebooks got drenched to a pulp. I remember being upset and my mom trying to salvage everything she could. And then I have this vivid memory of her making little paper boats and floating them on puddles that had formed on our balcony.

And I was reminded of those little wiggly brown earthworms which you see in India when in rains.

The sweetest sound

2008-02-12T22:36:00.006-05:00

Today Isaac and I turned 5 months. Or to be precise, this turbulent whirlwind relationship called 'Parenting' turned 5 months. I haven't had 6 continuous hours of sleep for 5 months. I haven't read a book for 5 months. It's been tiring to say the least.

Often as I have sat half-asleep in my rocking chair at 3am nursing my baby, I have thought of those picture perfect moments you see in a J&J baby soap commercial and wondered why the 'joy' of parenting eludes me?

But today it happened. Isaac laughed for the first time. Not just smile or gurgle... but LAUGH. And it was the sweetest sound that I have EVER heard.

Our nanny was pureeing his dinner and that's when we heard it. Just like that!

I managed to capture some of it on video after we figured it was the blender that amused him.

Isaac choosing to laugh today (of all days) was such a riot! It melted away all the exhaustion of the past 5 months.

My husband and I chose 'Isaac' because it's derived from 'Yitzchak', a Hebrew name meaning "he laughs". Isaac is going to live up to his name and I am so looking forward to it.

You Decide ?

2007-08-10T19:34:00.005-04:00

My daily commute to work involves walking through a passageway that connects 2 subway stations. It's commonplace to see pan-handlers, bible thumping preachers, and musicians along the way.

This morning I noticed a well dressed Caucasian family standing beside a teenage boy reading music and playing the guitar. The older gentleman (who was most definitely the father of the boy) held a placard that read - "College or Music - You Decide?"
Interesting way to take a poll and put a family dispute to rest!

Give Beirut a chance

2007-05-25T15:56:00.000-04:00

Tariq's dearest uncle works at the American University of Beirut (AUB). He has been in the eye of the storm ever since he got the opportunity to move there. He was on one of the first flights to land into Beirut after the Israelis bombed it last summer. From what I read and hear, most all the construction and preservation work done in Beirut was destroyed during the Israel-Lebanon war last year. It's such a pity considering how beautiful a city it has the potential to be, not to mention the constant fear that it's citizens live with.

And now Fatah al Islam, and it's starting all over again. Although the fighting seems to be in Tripoli, there is fear that the fighting is going to become more widespread in Beirut. Uncle Mike sent us this mail today -

On the news this morning there was a report that Fatah
al Islam has declared that if the Lebanese Army
doesn't "capitulate" they will bomb "the Crusader
colleges and universities of Lebanon," which would
most prominantly mean AUB but also LAU and St.
Joseph's. Everybody on campus seems expecially
nervous. Just after hearing that on TV there was a
stupendous noise from a very near low-flying plane and
I even walked into the stairwell of the apartment
building, worried they were going to pull a 9/11 plane
attack on AUB -- it sounded that low and that close --
but then the roaring plane passed. A few minutes later
I heard the approach again of another plane -- equally
loud and low -- and went out on the balcony. It was a
gigantic American transport cargo plane flying in very
low. There were several more. On Naharnet it says the
Americans are flying ammunition, tanks, Humvees, and
other such supplies in for the Lebanese Army in
response to an urgent appeal. Some of the transports
are coming in from Kuwait, some from Egypt. I suppose
that should make me feel safer, but frankly it makes
me feel more concerned. Things are feeling a lot more
bleak.

Pretty enough to eat

2007-05-22T10:56:00.002-04:00

In this month's issue of Domino Magazine, I came across a design feature of a Brooklyn based boutique owner's home. I was mesmerized with her living room - a white canvas that provides a grounding contrast for vibrant Indian fabrics - antique silks, embroidered cottons, kullu shawls.

She first visited India in 1989 and turned her passion for color and pattern into a successful business. I can't wait to visit her boutique - Layla in Brooklyn.

The picture of these glass bangles looked pretty enough to eat. Of course, it doesn't help that I just got back from a very relaxing trip to India and am homesick for the colors and aromas that I associate with home.

The Goechala Summit and beyond

2007-05-20T10:34:00.002-04:00

A friend from NY recently took his first trip to India. Instead of Rajasthan and Agra that most other tourists flock to, he made his way to Calcutta and then Sikkim to climb the Goechala summit. He is an artist and I expected some breathtaking pictures from his trip. He didn't disappoint.

I loved this picture of prayer flags fluttering from Dzongri Hill. He wrote in to say "I had a good time and was very impressed with the feeling I got from my limited time in India. I am a huge fan forever."

Mask pronounced "Mosques"

2007-02-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

My husband often jokes that he married me for my distinctive "Nigerian-English-Indian" accent and pronunciations. Ever so often he misunderstands both the context and subject of our conversation, which can be frustrating and entertaining all at once. So you can imagine the look on his face when I spoke about painting our entry-way wall so as to mount my "mask" collection, which he heard as "mosques". I could spend a lifetime in this country and I still will not be able to twist my A's to have it sound like how Americans/my husband say it.

Communication hurdles apart, the wall turned out perfect, and my "mask" collection has a new home.

Winter in Vermont

2007-01-05T13:39:00.000-05:00

My husband and I along with a couple of friends took a house share up in Vermont all of December. It sucked driving 5-6 hours each way especially after work on Fridays. But that apart we had a cozy country home nestled on a hill with a front yard that had a blanket of soft powdery snow (perfect for snowball fights). I loved the small town charm of Proctorsville and buying groceries at the mom and pop stores that are hard to come by in Manhattan. I learned to ski and got rather good at it, except for a nasty fall on our last day on the slopes(which also happened to be my birthday),which left me with a sprain on my left shoulder - oh well!

Geneva

2006-12-15T14:32:00.000-05:00

I had the "misfortune" of traveling to Geneva for a work related conference. Don't get me wrong, I love Geneva and I love traveling; but I abhor being stuck in a conference when I am itching to go out and drink in the sights of the city. I managed to get out one evening and walk to the 'old town' to get a glimpse of St. Pierre Cathedral, the center of Protestant Calvinism.

I snapped these pictures of some stores I walked into. One was a store that specialized in antique maps of the region. I spent some time with the store's owner who let me browse her extensive collection and loved the way in which her frames brought the maps to life.

Of course,no trip to Switzerland is complete without walking into a clock store, which reminded me of the 'Asterix in Switzerland' comic where their Helvetian hosts drive them nuts with their penchant for punctuality!!

I ran into a spot of trouble at the airport because my flight took off from the 'French sector' of Geneva International Airport. It's all very well documented on the airport's website , but nevertheless, I had no clue that I needed a French visa over and above my Schengen visa. I spent a harrowing time with the French immigration, and ended up being regurgitated into the "Swiss Sector" and buying another ticket that flew me out !

Towering Pancakes

2006-11-05T13:26:00.000-05:00

My husband makes the yummiest chocolate chip pancakes and then likes to stack them to show-off his culinary skills...Humm!

Why Blog ?

2006-10-26T10:26:00.000-04:00

I am finally taking the plunge to blog, after having flirted with the idea for months.

There have been countless times when I wish I could have captured random thoughts and images and framed them for posterity. Still, that begs the question, do I need to publish it ? The winning argument - there is something therapeutic that comes from sharing your life.

A few months back on my way downtown to a seminar in Wall Street, I jumped into a cab with an Indian driver. Soon he was telling me about his family back in Chandigarh, his immigration issues and how much he pays in rent for his Jackson Heights apartment. It was heartening that he could be so candid about his life - surely there must be a lightness of being that comes from carrying your heart on your sleeves.

It got me thinking ...there is an undeniable camaraderie that strangers share on a journey together even if it is merely a cab ride. Aren't blogs much the same in that respect ?